


Forgiving Him

by TheBigLoserQueen



Series: God AU [53]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Genderbending, Gods, Height Differences, Het, Human, Hurt/Comfort, Magic, Size Difference, powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 03:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4771553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBigLoserQueen/pseuds/TheBigLoserQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cyclonus still hasn't forgiven himself for what he did to Tailgate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgiving Him

It had been several days since Cyclonus had accidentally blinded her with his powers. And he had avoided touching her and being too close to her since then.   
  
She wasn’t sure what to do. Tailgate wanted him to stop and talk to her about this, but any time she tried to bring it up, he would stop her. Whether it was a verbal cue or the fact that he would just get up and walk away, Tailgate could clearly see that he didn’t want to discuss the issue. It wasn’t like she had much power or authority to get him to listen to her.  
  
It didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt though. She had forgiven him already, but he hadn’t seem to forgive himself… Which was why they were sleeping in separate rooms. Why he wouldn’t hold her or kiss her. Why it seemed like her touch was almost poisonous, recoiling from her hand whenever she reached out to him.   
  
Tailgate hated it. She didn’t know what she had to do to make him understand that she wasn’t afraid of him. She had forgiven him; he hadn’t done it on purpose – it had been a burst of rage and a slip of the control he had on his powers. He hadn’t been aiming for her and he didn’t have any intentions to put her in harm’s way. It was just an accident and she understood that once she had gotten her sight back.    
  
She glanced out her open window. She had no idea what time it was, only able to guess that it was in the middle of the night. She hadn’t been able to fall asleep, her mind not shutting up. But even if it would, she still hated sleeping and awaking up alone.   
  
Unable to relax, Tailgate slowly sat up and held her legs to her chest, burying her face into her knees. The room was so cold… She felt so incredibly lonely. All because Cyclonus was avoiding her like to the plague.  
  
She almost started to cry, but forced her not to. She had to find a way to talk to Cyclonus. To make the God of Night listen to her and what she had to say about what had happened the week before.  
  
Something that was much easier said than done.   
  
Still, she had to try. Slowly, she got up from her bed and tiptoed out of the room. It was incredibly silent outside… Almost too quiet. It made her uneasy and she almost ran back into the safety of her room. But she knew she needed to talk to Cyclonus. If she waited until the morning, she would just try to forget about it and cower away.  
  
No, she had to do it now. While it was fresh on her mind and she had some courage in her. So slowly, she forced herself to walk towards Cyclonus’s room, hugging herself tightly. Maybe it was just because she was nervous, but it seemed much colder than usual. The hallway was darker too. She had to wonder if Cyclonus knew she was awake and trying to keep her at bay. She was generally one to cower back if something was too much for her.   
  
But he wouldn’t do something like that. Not after what had happened last week. The only powers he would use within the house were the barriers he had put up to keep out any unwanted visitors.   
  
Finally, she reached the door to his bedchambers. There was no light on inside, but… she had a feeling he wasn’t asleep. Though she never said anything, in the mornings recently, Cyclonus always seemed to be tired and absentminded. It had crossed her mind that perhaps he wasn’t sleeping well, but she didn’t bother to ask.   
  
Swallowing, she calmed herself down. It was really now or never... And she knew that Cyclonus was awake. She could just feel it. But if he was as tired as she thought, she should have been able to argue and fight her way inside to speak to him, in case he wanted to send her away. Taking a deep breath, she gently pushed the door opened.   
  
"C-Cyclonus?" she said softly, stepping into the room. She almost stopped in her tracks when she saw how... pitch-black it was. She couldn't even see two feet in front of her. The room was cold and almost lifeless...  
  
Tailgate closed the door behind her, making the room seem even darker. She hugged herself as she moved forward, trying to squint to see if maybe she would be able to catch a glimpse of her lover. But no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't see him.  
  
"Cyclonus?" she called out again, this time with worry clear in her voice. "A-Are you in here?"  
  
Silence.  
  
It made her even more nervous and even a little frightened. It was clear that she wasn't welcomed right now, but it still made her worry about him. And she couldn't see anything either. Even if she wanted to walk out of the room, she didn't think she would be able to find the door. So she just kept slowly going forward, stretching out her hands as she tried to feel her way through the dark.  
  
"C-Can we talk?"  
  
Even though she was a hundred percent sure he was in here, there was no response.  
  
She continued to talk anyway. "I... I want to talk about last week."  
  
The darkness seemed to grow even colder and more menacing than before.   
  
"W-We need to talk about it." Oh Primus, she could feel herself starting to shake. She had stopped moving as her legs trembled in anticipation as to what was going to happen next. As to what he might do. "Y-You're obviously still suffering from it! Y-You need to forgive yourself already, Cyclonus..."  
  
She felt something touch her. It felt like a hand... but it wasn't. It was cold and it unnerved her, making her gasp when it clamped down over her shoulder. And another one over her arm. And two more that only grabbed at her other shoulder and other arm. Then it started to gently pull her back, probably towards the door.  
  
So Tailgate started to struggle. "N-No!" she shrieked, trying to shake off whatever was pulling her away. "Cy-Cyclonus, please, stop!"  
  
But she found herself being pulled further and further away from the room. Damn it, this had to stop! The only one who saw Cyclonus as a monster was himself! She didn’t see him like that! She had never seen him like that! Not even after what had happened in the week before! So why was he-?!  
  
Tailgate was able to shake off the shadowy hands before wobbling her way into the room, keeping her arms and hands stretched out in an attempt to find him. But the further she went in, the more the darkness grabbed at her and tried to pull her back. He must have been towards the back of the room. That must have been where he was at!  
  
“Cyclonus!” she cried out, desperately searching for him as she tried to avoid the hands trying to grab at her. “S-Stop! I-I said stop!”  
  
It wasn’t working. More and more shadows were grabbing at her and trying to pull her back. But it made Tailgate struggle forward, adrenaline pumping hard as she tried to find Cyclonus in this pitch-black room. Somewhere… He was in here somewhere. She had to be getting close.   
  
“Cyclonus! Please! Just listen to me-!”  
  
One of the hands grabbing at her had pulled too hard, causing Tailgate to lose her balance and fall to the ground hard.   
  
“Ah!”  
  
The darkness seemed to jerk back from her, almost out of fright. Everything went silent and cold, only Tailgate moving on the floor as she brushed herself off. She hurt her knee a bit, but it was nothing serious. Still, it might have been a good thing that she had fallen, especially now with Cyclonus frozen in his spot.    
  
She stood up and held her arms out in front of her. She had no idea if the god was standing there or not, but she had to at least let him see what she meant.   
  
“Cyclonus.”  
  
It was as if the air had stiffened.  
  
“Please, come out.” She spread her arms out more. “Please… I’m not mad at you for what happened. I don’t blame you. I… I was the one who made you mad in the first place-!”  
  
She stopped when the air got cold again. No, no, she couldn’t say that. It only made Cyclonus feel even guiltier about what happened. Yes, she had been the one to make him angry. But, as he said, he was the one that had actually hurt her. He should have had more control over himself. Whether or not that was true, Tailgate didn’t care. She just wanted to move from it. She had forgiven him; he just needed to understand that and forgive himself.  
  
She took a deep breath and tried again. It was harder than she thought. “Cyclonus,  _please_ … I don’t want things to be like this anymore.”  
  
Tailgate was tired of him staying away from her. Treating her like the plague and constantly avoid her. Little to zero affection, even when in private. She couldn’t stand it. And at night, she hated how lonely everything was. How dark and sad and so unbearably cold… She didn’t want it anymore. She just wanted things to go back to normal. She wanted Cyclonus back.  
  
Tears started to pool up in the corners of her eyes, but she fought to hold it in, though it was admittedly difficult.   
  
“Cyclonus… Pl-Please,” she whimpered out. “I-I forgive you… I’ve already forgiven you… Pl-Please… I-It’s cold. A-And I’m lonely… Pl-Please, Cyclonus, I-I love you… I-I love you, s-so please… D-Don’t leave me alone… Please, I-I love you-!”  
  
Arms suddenly wrapped tightly around her and pulled her into something solid. Tailgate gasped and attempted to look up, but the person’s hands were already at her back and head, holding her tightly up against him. He was still in his normal form, hence he was so much bigger than her… But Tailgate didn’t care as her tears started to trickle down her face, her arms wrapping tightly around the god as she cried softly into his chest.  
  
“I’m sorry, Tailgate…”  
  
She just hugged him tighter, sobbing quietly against him. She gripped the back of his shirt tightly, legs wobbling a bit as she leaned against him. Tailgate didn’t know the darkness dissolving around the, natural moonlight filling the room and allowing her to exactly look at the man.   
  
It had been far too long since she last hugged him like this. Too long since they had last touched each other or held each other… It felt nice. She felt a warmth she had been missing for a while now. It felt so relaxing, so calming…  
  
She was glad to finally have it back.

* * *

They were lying on Cyclonus’s bed, his arms still wrapped tightly around her while he was planting kisses all across her face. He had apologized so many times now, holding her close and practically smothering her. But she didn’t mind; she knew it wouldn’t last too long anyway, but she had missed this. Sleeping next to him, hugging him, letting him kiss her… It felt really nice.   
  
She pulled back her face from his lips to bury it in his chest.  
  
“Tailgate?”  
  
She didn’t say anything for a bit, simply pressing herself closer to him. And when she felt his arms wrap around her, she murmured, “Please don’t do that again.”  
  
There was a pause.  
  
“I love you,” she said softly. “I know you didn’t mean to do that… So please, don’t do that again.”  
  
Cyclonus’s arms tightened around her. He had thought he was keeping her safe. He had thought it was for the best. Even though he had sworn to protect her and keep her safe, he had been the one to hurt her. To blind her for that short time. He couldn’t bare to be around her at first, terrified to know that she might hate him, she might be afraid of him and was only trying to forgive him in an attempt to somehow appease him.  
  
He thought he was doing the right thing. But it had only made her cry… Because she loved him and had truly forgiven him.  
  
He still couldn’t forgive himself though. Not after hurting her in such a frightening manner. But he didn’t say it aloud, knowing it would only make the mortal sad. He wasn’t ready to do that to her again.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he murmured softly.  
  
“… It’s okay.” She pressed more into him. “Just hold me while we sleep, okay?”  
  
He nodded. Having her next to him brought him at ease. He may actually be able to sleep decently tonight, considering how he had hardly been able to rest these past few nights. As long as he knew Tailgate was safe, he would be able to sleep.  
  
And in a matter of minutes, they both fell into a peaceful slumber.


End file.
